Sunday, April 14, 2013

sMiles

Where do I start with this lil man...Since turning 5 and even a lil before his birthday we've been going through some pretty rough changes. I know for such a small person lots of new exciting things in his life can be over whelming, even for him. I can't even begin to express how IN LOVE I am with this boy. He is my oldest and has such a special place in my heart. It saddens me with how he has been lately and I'm new at being a parent of a 5 year old so if you have any advice I'll take it. I don't know what's normal behavior, but things are different with him and it's hard for me. He isn't lovey anymore at all...it's been too long since I've gotten a random "I love you" and hug and when I love on him he pushes away. Is this a beginning of a very long road of "not liking" mom?

 I have read a lot about what you should or shouldn't do with your children and I know the most important thing is to just show him attention and love. I have changed my mood in the last couple months to be more calm and attentive to his needs and happiness. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. He has to be in complete control of everything, he is extremely OCD and I don't know if it's his age or he could be really diagnosed with OCD. It's so bad that we will get into a whole discussion of him getting upset that the blue he is wearing or coloring with is not the right kind of "blue". ....is this normal? That is just one example of many particulars of his life. 

I encourage and praise him in all he does, but it just doesn't seem like enough, he still will complain and get upset about everything in life..it's hard to even come up with an example b/c it's constant. I'm at a lose.

Although I guess I can't complain things could always be worse. I am pretty optimistic and see the positive in things. There is a lot about Miles that I can be thankful for. The fact that even though he gets upset he has never been violent, name calling and destructive. When he is getting in trouble he does express his understanding of the situation and promises to be better...so for a 5 year old there is a silver lining. 
The other day I made it a point to spend some one on one time with him. We went on a date. Got some ice cream and climbed the red rocks. He was in his own world. Again having to be in control of the whole evening. He kept telling me he was the "leader".
At the end of the evening I asked him if he had fun with me and likes spending time with just mommy...of course his answer is "no, I want to go home and play Minecraft with daddy"...ugh I guess I can't ask for much I know in my heart he had fun even if he doesn't want to tell me that to my face. Maybe things will change when school starts and spending less time with me will make his heart grow founder or maybe it will become worse as he get's older? 

5 comments:

Aymee said...

Keep on doing what you are doing! I wish I had something amazing to say, some bit of advice that will make it all better. He is a wonderful boy! Embrace him and love him! You are an awesome mom! Love you both:)

Barbara said...

You are a wonderful mother, Staci. His relationship with you will go through stages. He loves you, but right now he is focused on other things. What he is going through and what you are experiencing is very normal. Let's talk more when we are together for the wedding. Hang in there!! We love you and are so thankful for all that you do to love and nurture our grandchildren!!

Motel Davis said...

:( Sad. I am sure it is just a phase, Paisley got mad at me the other day and told me she didn't love me and it stabs like a knife when they say things like that or act like that! I really think what you're doing is on the right track-good luck!

Emily said...

Some kids don't hit their terrible 3's until they are 5 or 6. LOL. EACH baby is different. Just find new ways of expressing love. And it will be sooo exciting when he starts writing love notes, or silly stories or pictures at school that include tidbits about his family. Just like when you'll go out somewhere and he'll point to you and say "That's MY Mom!" always adore and watch and pray as you think "That's my boy!" when out and about! Tell him so. And if he'll let you, give him a 100 smooches on his cheek before he goes to school... even if he rubs it off! LOL! (Amy rubbed her kiss off her check this morning. Made me laugh!) So hard to believe HOW FAST! they are growing!

Jinia Parker said...

Hey their! So I wondered over to your blog via pinterest diy project. Lovely blog indeed! Going through I found this post and thought I would throw in my two cents..now I have no relationship with the your lovely blog so feel free to toss out opinion!!!
It sounds to me as though your gut says something is up and I think (if for nothing else than peace of mind)you should talk to your pediatrician. Most likely just a phase if it is something a bit more sometimes early knowledge is amazingly helpful. My son has Sensory Integration Disorder, CAPD, and some Anxiety issues (not bad but when he gets anxious he gets a bit OCD), and def a bit quirky. I must say that labels are only helpful in that it lets you know what you need to do ..otherwise not needed except for the knowledge. If I can be of any assistance (being a bit to knowledgeable in this area) please feel free to let me know and thank you for offering such a real post on this lovely blog!